haters can say what they want about the 4th of july but i just witnessed two dudes- one dressed as abe lincoln and the other as benjamin franklin- passionately making out on the balcony while fireworks went off behind them and half of the party, for some reason, gathered around them and chanted “USA! USA!” for like five solid minutes
god bless america
songs that have an amazingly catchy and cool tune but really uncomfortable lyrics
I think we’re all thinking of the same thing but don’t dare speak its name for fear of summoning it.
We don’t talk about it
ARE THOSE BLURRED FUCKING LIMES
Umbridge: “Boys and girls are not permitted to be within 8 inches of each other.”
[gay wizard laughter]
the sound of teenage girls laughing near you when you’re by yourself is literally the most terrifying thing a person can experience
kiss me hard before you go, summertime sandler
Lana Del Rey songs make me feel sad and nostalgic about things that haven’t happened to me
less pure after you’ve touched her
maybe you should take a look at your hands
when someone asks if they can draw or write you a thing
The sexual tension between two people when one of them says “make me”
wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said
"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"
then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming
100000000 points to mom.